New little things

Carter has this thing lately where he'll shout out "69 49" when he is really happy or excited. Heard this a million times in the last two days, as we have had 2 birthday parties at indoor play centers. So weird and so funny. It's Darryl's favourite.

Claire says my name 6,789,895 times a day. Super cute and super annoying all at the same time. She is really clingy these last couple weeks. She loooooves books. First thing she asks for every morning. Her faves that we read a million times a day are a couple of cute British ones from my mum called Oh Dear and Humphrey's Meal Time.

Chlo is into taking things lately. Money, candy, even a tabloid from Shoppers the other day we had to go back and return. She said she thought it was like the free real estate magazines from the rec center. She is loving piano with Kathy. So glad we decided to start.

We had JK orientation for Carter. He loved it. I love Mrs. Brown. Best Kindergarten teacher ever.

Darryl has put up a super fancy basketball net in our front yard that has him really excited. Like, really excited. The idea of moving to the country also has him super excited these days. Constantly looking online at pieces of land we could build on and we even went to look at a few.  I just don't think it's for me though.

I have been doing a clicking expedient the last few days that has really worked for me. You click on a counter when you have a positive thought. The idea is that you focus on the positive and give those positive thoughts power when you recognize them. Really cool. Also trying to complete a personal progress goal of 3 weeks consecutive scripture study. Also been very cool. Lots and lots of reading about faith in Alma. Loving it.

Life is good.

And although I want to be positive (click) It is also exhausting. I love being a mom, but man, I am feeling so tired at the end of the day. I wake up with a to-do list in my head every morning, and no matter how much I physically try, I can't complete it. If I have a great day with the kids and the tantrums and yelling are minimal, it's usually because I've spent a ton of time engaged with them and I'm happy about that, but I go go to bed feeling guilty about the "me" and the "house" things that didn't get done. If I have a day where I get up and get in a 3 km run, read my scriptures, have time with Darryl, clean the house, go to a meeting, go to the temple, etc. I go to bed with a ton of mommy guilt. I can't win lately. It's really discouraging that I can't seem to get that balance back that I had before we went on vacation.

And while I am ranting, can I just say I can't believe how quickly older women forget what it was like to have small children? I love my mum. I love my mom-in-law. I love my grandmothers. But they forget. And when I talk to them or vent to them, I feel like they are just like "Well, been there, done that suck it up and hold your breath cause menopause worse" In the most loving, well meaning way that they can, of course. I keep telling myself I won't be like that, but I'm sure I will. If I survive till Claire is 5, I'm sure these crazy days of 3 tiny ones will be a distant, happy memory.

I need to pull out that clicker.